My Favorite Shade of Grey is My Own
by battlefield-unspoken
Summary: “I have nothing left to fear. I can go anywhere.” “You’re very lucky then- and have a good sense of imagination. But I’m telling you, you’re not going anywhere in that condition.”
1. Chapter 1

don't own naruto. . . .

i'm not liking this story as much as the other but here it is anyway- thanks for trying it!

He landed silently on the dirt floor. He looked around but saw no guards.

The soldier silently rounded the corner and down the dark hall. Kakashi heard voices coming form the next room. And one of them belonged to his assigned target.

"Tell me where I can find a demon!" The air as filled with the sound of beatings. "Tell me, now girl." Kakashi peered into the room. It was a dungeon, with only one cell occupied. In the cell stood the target, three of his goonies, and a prisoner. It looked like the girl had been there for some time. Her clothes were shredded and bloody and she was far too thin. "You have nothing left to live for. They're dead. They can't hate you for giving up their secret." The man sneered. The girl stared up at him from her knees and shook her head. "No, it is beyond your understanding." The man cursed in rage at her comment and one of the bystanders drove a knife into her side. Only enough to hurt her but not kill her- yet. She yelled in pain. The man folded his arms, amused. "Now tell me."

The girl stood, on shaking legs, obviously the victim of many beatings, not just today's.

She looked the man square in the eyes. "Togróidh sé."

"What?" He narrowed his eyes.

"Togróidh sé. It means 'he will choose' ". She regained some of her strength. "A demon chooses only one to serve in their life. And based on your personality- you're not going to get any takers."

Another time was the knife drawn down her back. She gave a small noise and collapsed in the floor. " Togróidh sé? Togróidh sé?!! It's the same thing the other one said! It's a demon- it has no feelings, no mercy. It's the ultimate fighter." He kicked the girl once before exiting her cell. "Take care of her in the morning."

"Yes, Sir."

Kakashi waited for the goons to clear before he made his move. He snuck into the room and before the man knew he was being targeted, he was struck. He gasped as Kakashi held the knife in. He had some questions for the man before he finished him. "How are they connected to demons? Why her?"

The man laughed, "You too? She's a wild one. Tame her, would you?"

Kakashi twisted the knife. The man howled in pain.

"Tell me."

The man answered. "She lived with two demons but never controlled them. Imagine the power she could have had! She could have had anything she wanted. Instead, she let them get killed and now she's going to die too- all because she was a coward and let them live equal to her. She could have had everything!"

"How do you know she didn't?" And plunged the knife deep, finalizing the mission.

He couldn't leave her like that. He found a sheet and kneeled beside her. She was barely alive. He turned her towards him, her eyes slowly focusing on him. He voice was faint but it struck Kakashi.

"Hey Dragon."

"Hi." Kakashi said, playing along.

"Dragon- Remember Arashi? I'd like to see him again. That would be nice."

Kakashi froze. No, no. She couldn't have known that man. But she was unconscious now. His mission had been simple. Kill the top dog and go home. That was it. But this girl- that name- how? Hopefully Tsunade wouldn't demand his soul in exchange for this. That woman could be very frightening at times. He scoped the girl up. Blood was no concern for him, being a shinobi. But her wounds were severe- she needed care. He looked once more at her face. Had she really known sensei? She was not a leaf villager. He would know soon enough. He would question her when she was awake.

The journey back was slowed by the extra body but Kakashi still managed good timing. He landed near the hospital. He needed the upper level care for her. Upon seeing her in the light, he could see how beaten she truly was- malnourished with deep cuts from being chained. Kakashi placed her on the bed.

He visited her everyday but she didn't wake up. Her cuts were being treated and she was on fluids. She was looking much better.

"Well, well. If it isn't little man Kakashi." Kakashi lazily lifted his eye to greet the speaker. "I hear your girl's doing better- you come here often?"

"She's attracted my attention."

"Now Kakashi, don't victimize young unconscious girls! Bad Kashy!" She scolded.

Kakashi stared ". . . . ."

"Could I ask the real reason?" Tsunade's voice turned serious. "I know you're not a people person and you're not really the dating type, so why kidnap her from her home?"

"She has no home." Kashy said bluntly.

"How do you know that?"

"It was the only leverage he had over her to keep her weak enough to control. As to why I'm so interested in her- it's because of a name she mentioned."

"Oh? And whose name could that be? I've told Jiriaya to control himself but he never-"

"Arashi."

"Kakashi- how-?" She was dumbfounded. Kakashi just shook his head. Tsunade took a deep breath. She couldn't take this away from Kakashi. She didn't fully understand why he wanted to reopen those wounds but so be it.

"It won't change anything."

"I know." Kakashi smiled, crinkling his mask. Tsunade looked at the two of them, wondering how far this would damage them.


	2. Chapter 2

"Oh- dear! The girl, she's gone!" A search was now set out. Unfortunately for the girl, Kakashi had kept watch over her and his dogs watched her when he could not. So when she had awoken and fled the hospital, Kakashi knew immediately.

She collapsed in the moonlit street. She'd kept hidden during the day. A lot of people had been searching for her, asking around. She had no idea where she was but she wanted to get far away. She wanted to keep running. God, don't let her have to go back.

"Are you okay?" She nearly screamed- the voice was so close to her. She looked up to see a silver haired man staring down at her. He held his hand out to her. She flinched, the memories still too close to the surface. He saw her discomfort and withdrew his hand.

"You shouldn't be moving around so much in your condition."

She opened her mouth but no sound came out.

"I'll take you back"

"No!!" She screamed as he prepared to pick her up. Her voice shook in fear. "Leave me alone."

"You can't stay here."

"I'm not going with you."

"Are you in any condition to do otherwise?"

She glared at him but Kakashi could see the tears and fears she was fighting.

"I'm not gonna hurt you." She turned her head away. "I'm the one that brought you here."

She looked back at him. "You're safe here, okay?"

She sneered. "Safe from what?"

"Anything you fear." She stared at him. The comment had surprised even him. But it worked. She was calming.

"I have nothing left to fear. I can go anywhere."

"You're very lucky then- and have a good sense of imagination. But I'm telling you, you're not going anywhere in that condition."

"Yes I-" Before she could finish her argument she felt herself grow very tired.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

"Touch me and die."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. It was bad enough he had to chase her down in his own apartment. Then again, why wouldn't she be pissed at him? Technically he had kidnapped her- twice. And now she was curled up in a corner, knees drawn up against her chest. She was nearing defeat.

Her tone had been serious, but he knew nothing of her actual strength. Wounded animals tended to act fiercer to help protect themselves. He squatted down in front of her. She tensed and moved away a little, though she tried to hide it. "Do you really intend to kill someone?"

"If I have to I will."

"You must be a shinobi then."

The hatred in her eyes said otherwise. "I hate your kind and their need for power and control and destruction." Raw nerve there. Kakashi took note of that. He was interested more now, but he remained his usual collected, stoic self. "We need to get these taken care of. The bandages need to be changed and cleaned."

"You did this?" She questioned.

"The bandages, yes. The damage, no."

She was silent and distant.

"Really, they can't stay on more than ten hours." Kakashi warned and stood up.

She looked at him, the fight gone. "Why did you take me? Are you going to sell me? Or use me?" Her voice grew quiet, almost breaking.

"No." It was said both simply and warmly. She didn't smile or thank him but he didn't mind. All things in time. He held out his hand, "Come." She looked at his hand waiting for hers then stood up on her own.

He withdrew his hand and commented, "Stronger, are we?"

"More then you know." He nodded and led the way to the table. She sat on the chair and Kakashi went to wash his hands. "I'm Kakashi Hatake." Silence. Well, at least he tried. He gathered the equipment and headed over to the girl. He rolled up her pant leg. He made a note to buy her some new clothes. The hospital gowns had been too much for him and she was currently wearing some of his clothes- but he wasn't going to tell her that.

"Kakashi?" "Hmm?" He asked, concentrating on the deep cut.

"Could I call you Kashy-kun?" Kakashi's hand almost froze at the old nickname. He looked up at the girl. She had her head hanging low, clenching her hands. "I'm sorry. I was rude. Never mind."

"It's been a long time since anyone called me that. I've missed it." He smiled his wrinkled smile at her. She looked up; a little shocked at his kindness. She laughed along with him. Kakashi was more relieved to hear that then he imagined.

"And what should I call you?" He tried again, being more straight forward this time.

Her face fell. "I don't know." Kakashi stopped cleaning. Should he press the matter or let it be? He saw a tear run down her cheek.

"Don't worry. We'll find a name for you."

"Like you do for animals?"

"No. I was thinking of something that would represent you and be unique to you and that I could talk to you with. Let's give it time, maybe you'll remember." She nodded. She hadn't been crying really. Just that one tear.


	3. Chapter 3

Open. Close. Open. Close. Each door shut louder than the last.

The girl finally stood back and glared at the bare cabinet shelves as if they were to blame for the lack of food.

Kakashi tried to hide his amusement. Setting his book aside he asked "Do I need to go shopping?"

The girl didn't even turn to face him "If you don't want to starve to death it might be a good idea."

Kakashi stood up and headed towards the door. "Well then, let's go. The market's still open."

She spun to stare at him. There was no way she was going outside to a market full of people. To be honest- she hadn't left the apartment in the week she had been here. And unfortunately, they hadn't thought of a name for her yet.

"I hate crowds too so trust me- I know the best times to go to avoid them." He waited but she only backed up closer to the hallway, planning an escape route if he tried to force her to come.

Kakashi had to admit she wasn't very house broke. He thought back when she had first woken up in the apartment. How fair was it that she used his own shuriken against him? Of course she had not hit him- but did the walls _have _to be casualties? He looked at her standing there, the shadows of painful memories still on her face. Well, he would never force her into coming with him so he simply waved his hand.

A quiet voice asked, "When will you be back?"

He smiled softly at her, "I'll be back in a little while." She nodded and hung her head as he closed the door behind him.

He had just made it to the bottom landing when a slamming door and running feet were heard. He didn't need to glance over his shoulder to know who had fallen into step next to him. Surely this was a step in the right direction in building their trust. The market was not very full but there were still a good number of people buying and selling.

Kakashi chuckled. Whenever someone wandered to close, she would tense and dodge behind him but at the same time, the girl held a childlike innocence as she drank in the sights and sounds of the market. Kakashi stopped to buy some fruit and was amused as the wide eyed girl ran her hand over the different colored textured fruits. Kakashi seized the moment to talk to her. He told her the name of each fruit and what they tasted like. The girl said nothing.

As they wandered around a corner, a small Leaf Village boy collided square into the girl. He fell on his butt, and looking up at the girl and Kakashi, began to cry. Before Kakashi could think of how to deal with the child, the girl leaned forward and brushed off the boy's tears. The child had his dark brown hair pulled back in a ponytail and he had kind eyes. The girl kneeled in front of him. "What's your name?" The boy sniffed and answered, "Azu."

The girl chuckled and helped Azu to his feet. "Are you okay? Why are you running so fast?"

Azu stared at the ground. "My parents went on a mission and I have to wait for them to come home." His eyes got big again, "But I miss them. I don't want them to keep going away." Azu started crying again.

The girl pulled him into a hug. "Then wait for them to return. When they get back, tell them what you told me. They love and would do anything for you." Azu hugged the girl once more and then ran back the way he had come, smiling and crying the whole way. Kakashi had felt, during that encounter with the boy, a flash of the image of a kind-hearted chuunin teacher.

They were nearing the end of their journey when a voice asked, "What are those?"

Kakashi turned to see where she was pointing. "Those are crepes." Kakashi explained, "They are very sweet and you can get almost any flavor you want." The girl watched as two more crepes were handed out to customers. Kakashi headed over, the girl following.

"Well, well. If it isn't Hatake Kakashi. What can I make for you? I never thought of you as the crepe type."

Kakashi smiled at the man, "No, no it's for her." The crepe maker looked at Kakashi for a moment before he spotted the figure practically hiding behind him. Kakashi could swear she was glaring at him for giving away her hiding position. He only smirked at her.

"What would you like, hun?" The girl looked from the crepe maker to Kakashi, utterly lost.

"Um, she might like a strawberry-vanilla flavor." Kakashi said. The crepe maker nodded and went to work. The girl stared at the ground the entire time, still very close to Kakashi.

"Here you are. One strawberry-vanilla crepe for Kakashi's shadow."

"I'm sorry?"

"Oh- I didn't mean any harm. It's just she's like a shadow, how she tags along with you. That's all." Kakashi nodded and took the crepe. He handed it to the girl, who stared at it curiously. "Go on." Kakashi encouraged. She took a bite and was swept away by the delicious sweetness. For the rest of their walk she was so absorbed in her food she stopped dodging around skittishly.

"Shadow."

"Hmn?" The girl asked, her mouth still full of crepe.

"How do you like it?"

"It's delicious!"

Kakashi chuckled. "No I meant for a name. How do you like the name Shadow?"

The girl's eyes seemed to go blank for a minute, as if trying to remember something. "Shadow?" She whispered. Kakashi was concerned. It was like the name was buried in her memory somewhere, hiding something from her.

"We'll keep trying."

"No, I like it. Can I be Shadow?" The girl protested, happy at the thought of having a name.

Kakashi felt relived at the thought of finally having something to call her by, "Yes. You're Shadow."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Shadow woke up shaking in fear. She hated those dreams. In the month that she had been here, they had disappeared. But now-

She looked around the dark room. Even if she checked she knew he wouldn't be there sleeping on the couch. He would have checked on her when he returned so she would have known when he got back.

She pulled her knees up to her chest, the old flannel pajamas still warm from the blankets. Shadow thought back to that day one week ago when he said he had to go on a mission. She had stood there and watched him go. She could still see him disappearing out the door in his Jounin vest and carrying all his weapons.

Shadow tried to fight down her fears that resurfaced with every noise the house made. Every creak was the sound of someone coming to take her away again. The house felt cold and empty. When he had first given her the bedroom, his scent had been almost overpowering. But now it was fading and she was realizing what a safe haven it had become to her. Maybe it was because it was the scent of the man who had carried her out of a dungeon and later picked her up off the street in the dead of the night. She placed her feet on the floor, hoping she was right about this.

She broke into a run. She stopped only when she had reached the den.

She touched the pile of blankets still on the couch. Instantly her senses were filled with memories of comfort and the kindness of a silver haired man. She curled up into a ball and pulled the blankets close to her chin. Kakashi had been right. It was much colder in the den.

Kakashi trudged in through the door. It had been a long mission. He was tired, sore, and just wanted to forget. As he passed by the den he noticed a lump on the sofa. A couple blankets were thorn there and they were breathing. He leaned against the door frame and grinned. Shadow, for one reason or another, had left the comfy bed in exchange for the sofa. He wasn't sure what her exact motives were, but he knew one thing about sleeping in the den. Sure enough when he stepped into the room, there was a noticeable draft. It wasn't the warmest room in the house but he always had the right blankets for the night. He walked to the far side of the room and picked up the last blanket. It was plain silver and black but it was the warmest in the house.

He paused by her side before placing the blanket down. The moment the blanket was laying on her form, she relaxed. Kakashi just watched her. She was sleeping so trustingly in his house, despite her many fears. She could ignore his gaze in her sleep because she wasn't tainted in the ways of the ANBU, where they had no room left to be trusting or off guard. He wanted her to stay like that if just so he could see it in her since he had long ago lost it in himself. She stirred and whispered in her sleep. Wanting to sooth her, Kakashi brushed a hand across her cheek. Her movements seized. Slowly her eyes opened. At first she looked at him as if debating if he was really there. Her eyes almost looked sad but then she realized it was truly him and she moved so fast he almost didn't see it coming.

"Kashy!"

"I think you'll sleep better out here." He said, smiling down at her. She had thrown her arms around his neck.

"Thank you for coming back." She whispered in his ear.

Normally it was the thought of sleep that brought him through the door instead of out to the bar. But to hear someone say that, from the bottom of their heart, was something that stole Kakashi's thoughts. Slowly, he embraced the girl returning her hug. He found himself closing his eyes, lost in the contact. He breathed in her warm scent. It was abrisha. Shadow slowly loosened her grip and leaned back down. Kakashi realized how small he felt now. She had so much power over him. She drew the blanket up close to fight the cold left from the parting hug. She smiled at him but her eyes were heavy. Kakashi laughed silently at her actions. She was trying to stay awake for him. Before he could stop himself he placed a goodnight kiss on her forehead and slipped out of the room.


End file.
